Here are the top 5 things I wonder when I’m at Target
1. Am I the only one talking to myself in the frozen food aisle?
As I peruse the cases for the Market Pantry mini chicken sandwiches (which my family prefers to anything fresh I cook), I like to mumble to myself about the weighty decisions of the day. For example, should I send my daughter to swim team practice or cheerleading practice? She can’t do both, so which is more important? I can mutter about the pros and cons for several minutes while finding the Morningstar breakfast sausage (which counts as a vegetable in my house). After sixteen years of marriage, I have learned that my husband has no interest in this minutia. Really only the frozen food and my mom care to listen. God bless her.
2. What would happen if I checked out for less than $100?
I am pretty sure Citibank would call me suspecting fraud because they would assume it wasn’t me. A charge for $28 – impossible! It seems that even if I enter the store with only three items on my list, by the time I leave, I have loaded up my cart. My weakness is the workout clothes. Compared to Lululemon (where my twelve-year-old shops), the fitness clothes at Target are practically free.
3. What would happen if I ate the Planter’s Men’s Health nut mix?
I am fairly certain I would not grow “nuts” (no pun intended), so what is so special about this mix for men? And more importantly, why isn’t there a Women’s Health nut mix?
4. What would my kids say if I dyed the ends of my blonde hair a nice pitch black?
I believe they would call me “goth” and assume I am doing drugs. I have a double piercing on my left ear, so I am halfway there already. I would generally say Target is not the best place to shop for a new hairstyle.
5. If I wore tan pants and a red shirt, would people think I work here?
I would not be willing to do this experiment at my neighborhood store, but I could drive to Pasadena and see what happens. Maybe I will attempt to get an employee discount. I am feeling like a new sports bra would really motivate me to work out more!