New Year New Rules

January 2014

Here are a few of my picks for 2014:

• I will not cook spaghetti while wearing a white shirt.

• I will accept that my children are  growing up, and I can no longer put them to bed at 8 pm. Ugh!

• I refuse to eat lunch or dinner at McDonalds; however, the Egg White Delight McMuffin with a large Diet Coke remains the breakfast of champions.

• I will always have avocados on hand because they make everything delicious. They have the good fat, right?

• I will get my oil changed before the  warning light comes on. Then, I will use the car wash coupon before it expires.

• I will maintain my collection of

“skinny” jeans in three different sizes, so that I can be “skinny” on any given day.

• I will continue to challenge my children to walk our dog, even though every time they return, they tell me she “ate poop.”

• I will not have my teenage daughter’s sports bra monogrammed. Those three little letters say “notice my chest.” I must be old because I still believe a person should wear a shirt over the sports bra.

• I will not expect things I order online to actually fit.

• I will assume that anything made with kale tastes bitter. Then, I can be pleasantly surprised if it does not.

• I will not resolve to work out more. I will continue to plan to work out several days a week and accept that life gets in the way about half the time.

• As possibly the last person on the planet to spell out “tomorrow” on a text, I will visit and try to stay up to date with the latest acronyms. Did you know that LOL can mean “living on Lipitor” and BTW can mean “bring the wheelchair?” OMG! How often can that come up?

• Before accepting any new volunteer commitments, I will look at my calendar, and then, go look at all of the laundry piled up in our hampers.

• I will have more patience. Could someone help me with that one, right now!

Copyright 2014 Absolutely! Focus Media


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